If the average friend, acquaintance, colleague or distant cousin were to describe me, they would say I was safe. Not a risk-taker. Not adventurous at all.
But what is adventure really? What are risks? And aren't the emotional risks you take far more dangerous than the physical ones?
For one, the emotional risks are NOT temporary. 5 minutes on a Banana Boat come and go and before you know it, it's all over. The jerks, the pace, the splash of the waves as they hit you, the way your heart surges when the tube topples, and WHAM - you're done. You're back on the beach, laughing.
But when you decide to throw away a 6-year relationship with a perfectly decent man, who you instinctively know is the one person on the planet who will adore you for the rest of your life, no.matter.what. - just because you want someone more exciting. Someone you feel more attracted to. Someone you're passionate about - even though you KNOW that one day all that is going to fade away. That's risky.
When you're ready to give up stability for 'butterflies'. When you're ready to barter the known and safe for the unknown and potentially dangerous. When you're ready to take the biggest risk of all - that of being alone. Now that's a roller-coaster. Not meant for the faint-hearted.
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When you're giving up the tried and tested for a black hole of uncertainty. It's like bungee jumping. 99% you'll live to tell the tale. But there's always that 1% where it'll be YOUR rope that snaps.
And it seems like a restless spirit, always in search of more, turns life into one big risk, with sharp turns, corners, slopes, turnabouts, upside downs and jumps - where your heart is always in your mouth and your head is always spinning and you're simply wondering which risk you're willing to take next.
But I hate adventure sports...and rides at amusement parks...and fast cars.
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i love you :)
ReplyDeletei read all that and i can only wonder at how similar we are :)
Love the "rope snapping" thing.. It is so scary and that IS an adventure!
ReplyDeleteThis is my fav. entry so far.
ReplyDeleteI hate rollercoasters and fast cars too...and check out the risks I have taken! Hahhaa!
But Shai - it's spelled sabbatical not sebbatical. :/
Life - all of it - is a risk. From the delicate beginning to the day it ends, a new life tries its best to survive and grow. The odds of adverse events that can wipe it out stack up till survival skills are honed to perfection. Then comes the phase of enjoyment, peace, familiarity, routine and the risk is toned down to a minimum. Any attempt to change yourself or the surroundings is fraught with grave risk but people do it all the time - they change jobs, houses, habits and get along quite merrily. Most are unaware of the risk involved but those who know the inbuilt risk in any transition use it to take life as an adventure. The only thing I have learned is that life energy changes in direction and amplitude all the time and it is best to flex with the flux. Those who are close to you remain close through life, those who are just there for the ride get thrown off at a tangent!
ReplyDeleteLove this post and totally identify with it!!!
Very nice, shaista. I see that you are actually becoming an adult :)
ReplyDeletebut one needs to throw caution to the wind and do the most outrageous thing once in a while!...keeps you young!
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