For now, let's compare a relationship to Arabietta sauce. Let's say your boyfriend was the tomato. His best friend, the onion - and your entire group the herbs, spices, garlic and brown sugar.
All together, they taste great and you want to keep eating it! It suddenly becomes your favourite sauce - and Pasta Arabietta your favourite dish! You associate it with nights out, with fun times, good memories and lots of laughs. You just don't realise how integral the Arabietta is to those times. And how integral the tomato is to that sauce.
Now what happens when the tomato goes bad? You can't separate the onions, garlic, herbs, spices and brown sugar from it. The whole sauce is bad. The dish becomes bad. You suddenly stop relishing it.
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You try to eat garlic, spices, herbs and brown sugar on their own. You try to combine them with other ingredients, mix them, roast them, fry them...but to no avail. Without the tomatoes, it's a no-show. It's definitely no Arabietta.
And then you just start to hate them all. Sure, just garlic's okay when put in something totally different. But combined with even a few of the others, tomato's presence is sorely missed.
And then a time comes when you just stop ordering Pasta Arabietta. And that symbolises the end of your relationship. And everything that came with it.
The garlic, onions, herbs, spices and brown sugar.
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I think the food analogy works but is too extreme.
ReplyDeleteI think of it more as a custody arrangement. Until the divorce is settled amicably your partner keeps his own the dog or cat (however you prefer to view his/her friends)
and you get to keep your goldfish, parakeet, the kids (however you prefer to view your friends)
of course the partner is entitled to some shared custody - but you don't have to be there.
eventually it'll all work out unless the dog eats the goldfish.
and you can even eat pasta.
Although I don't believe in this sharing friends business.
I don't mix with partners friends if partner is not there. But i'm very awkward that way. And if its a bad breakup I expect my actual good friends to do a little bit of loyal shunning.
the shitty traitorous friends obviously 'keep in touch' with the ex other half (I can name 1 in particular but thats just the way he is - a friend collector) .
You can't do anything with some people.
I know what you mean! In my case, it was so funny! The real "relationship" in my life resulted in me becoming closer to his friends...and now there's no difference between his friends and mine.
ReplyDeleteWhile, the 'unlabeled' thing in my life resulted in a practical group split - which I'm feeling quite bad about - coz I can't bring myself to chill with them without thinking of the tomato...and we were all equally close! So the shunning didn't quite happen on either side. So ya...now Pasta Arabietta's off my list :-| and it's not a nice feeling.
i'm sure the pasta will work itself out eventually if you are really friends but you have my sympathies its never nice to lose custody :(
ReplyDeletesoo true!! i totally knw what ur talking about..:)
ReplyDeleteThe garlic, onions, herbs, spices and brown sugar - just because the tomato got rotten does it mean you will not include them in any other recipe of life?
ReplyDeleteIf you never counted your ex's friend as your own its ok to let go .. but then they weren't really friends right?? they were close acquaintances.. bunch of homo sapiens whom you socialized with, well, coz u dint have a choice or u were indifferent!
Now think about this - what if your friend is still in touch with your EX? will you abandon tht friend? Will tht friend be no part of your recipe... Btw my ex's friend is one of my closest friend.. and I think she helped me the most to get over my Ex :)
My take "Friends" are nobody's property.. Every ingredient can be used in more than 1 recipe .. My advice don't loose out on good friends - they are difficult to find atleast when you have limited time and 6 bn Homosapiens to choose from
Would love to hear your side MasterChef !!
Well...Mr. Anonymous...
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, while I did have a separate relationship with those people - it's hard to separate - hence the analogy! You can't separate ingredients once they're in the sauce.
Over time I'm sure my tastes will balance and those ingredients will fit right in again probably in a new avatar this time.
And this does not happen in every case. Like i said, in my earlier relationship 'his friends' became even closer to me than they are to him.
It's just that in the case of this dish...it all worked much better as the entire dish!
As for the separate ingredients? Well I'm trying...They might be off the table for now...but don't worry, they'll never be off the menu.
So why dont go for a new recipe, a new ingredient... a fresh tomato in life :D
ReplyDeleteI loved the food concept.Good thought!
ReplyDelete