Sunday, April 18, 2010

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

How did you picture yourself 10 years ago? On a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies...?

No, seriously...what did you think you would be right now? Or rather at what stage of life did you think you would be at? Because when I think of what I was 'supposed' to be at this stage, I wince, shudder and promptly go on to block the thought. Repress it. I'm in denial! To some extent, we all are.

How many of us thought that by now we'd be married?
How many of us thought that we'd have become famous, written our books, made our first films and first crore?
How many of us thought we'd have our own houses? Go on expensive holidays? Be fit and fabulous and the envy of everybody? Our phones should have been ringing off the hook by now, our school-mates should have been spotting us in newspapers regularly...we should be cruising down a highway, listening to our favourite music - while the world around us swirls in perfect, happy rainbow colours....


Then how come most of us are still not married - and relieved to be so.
How come we're all still struggling to 'make it'. To dammit write that damned book once and for all...get that script done with...hell get that promotion already!
Why do we still feel embarassed to meet our school-mates, feeling like we'll be judged? Why don't some of us even have a car to cruise with yet? And goddamit I'm waiting for my swirly rainbow colours!!!

What is this deadline we're all up against? Why do we have to still live our lives by some sort of hourglass...? "Time is running out..." What time? Why can't we all just chill? What is this crappy rat race that affects all our lives - like it or not. Why can't our lives be measured by the quality of our thoughts and relationships rather than our bank accounts and waistlines? What is 'time' really?
Photo Credit

And what is WITH this damned 'biological clock'??? if I hear the words 'biological clock' once again from anyone, I'm going to SCREAM!

So yes, we may not be at the ideal place we thought we should have been at. But when I see some of those who are living their 'dream' - a.k.a false, unhappy lives and then I look at what I've built in the last 10 years, the relationships, memories, thoughts and ideals, I suddenly forget the dreams I once had and my world turns swirly again - colourful, rainbow-like. Perfect.


  1. if life worked by plan, there'd be no surprises, no learning and definitely much lesser fun...i love the random design :)

  2. if i honestly have to answer the question "are you happy?" the answer is yes i am happy. but thats not the real question,is it?? what we r indirectly asking is "should you be happy with the life u are living?" n then the answer is no.. most of the times we get confused with what we want and what we should want..


  3. I like farustar's answer, very true.

  4. Well, I'm still fighting the 'why do we have to live life in a set format - work till retirement and enjoy THEN? When is THEN? When we have WAY MORE responsibilities than we have now? When we have lost the PASSION and DRIVE to change the world?' What is the point of all of this??

  5. Seriously Shai, get out of my head!

  6. Whether we like it or not but we do tend to judge ourselves and our lives depending upon how ppl look at us. 'we see by reflection'. So we tend to run towards things that society deems important. Not saying if its the way to go about it but it might be the explan the rat race...