Arabietta sauce

Breaking up with somebody - anybody - be it a boyfriend or friend or even drifting from a family member, impacts other relationships in ways which you would never have thought of. Ways, which change your life completely.

For now, let's compare a relationship to Arabietta sauce. Let's say your boyfriend was the tomato. His best friend, the onion - and your entire group the herbs, spices, garlic and brown sugar.

All together, they taste great and you want to keep eating it! It suddenly becomes your favourite sauce - and Pasta Arabietta your favourite dish! You associate it with nights out, with fun times, good memories and lots of laughs. You just don't realise how integral the Arabietta is to those times. And how integral the tomato is to that sauce.

Now what happens when the tomato goes bad? You can't separate the onions, garlic, herbs, spices and brown sugar from it. The whole sauce is bad. The dish becomes bad. You suddenly stop relishing it.

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All those ingredients start to fade from your life. And you crave them. Especially the tomato.

You try to eat garlic, spices, herbs and brown sugar on their own. You try to combine them with other ingredients, mix them, roast them, fry them...but to no avail. Without the tomatoes, it's a no-show. It's definitely no Arabietta.


And then you just start to hate them all. Sure, just garlic's okay when put in something totally different. But combined with even a few of the others, tomato's presence is sorely missed.

And then a time comes when you just stop ordering Pasta Arabietta. And that symbolises the end of your relationship. And everything that came with it.

The garlic, onions, herbs, spices and brown sugar.

Dear Person Who Keeps Taunting Me For Being On The Phone A Lot

Dear Person Who Keeps Taunting Me For Being On The Phone A Lot,


I would just like to explain how and why "my phone keeps beeping", how and why it IS possible to "know everything about everyone" and how it is ALSO possible to "be so 'social' without having superficial relationships."

Let me start by telling you that people like you who pose all these questions, are really those who can't multitask. It's that simple. Of course there's the whole other problem of you not having any friends and family to chat with in the first place!


Today I talked on the phone to my friend from Dubai for an hour. I caught up with a school friend over phone chat - I planned dinner with 4 of my cousins on group chat. I exchanged friendly banter with an ex-boss over Facebook on my phone, I spoke to my sister halfway across the world on Yahoo Messenger. Not to mention about 15-20 other myriad conversations on different chat and social networking applications on the phone. And it's all in a day's work! Without me having 'superficial' conversation. Without me losing out on personal interaction with others I had through the day. Without me paying through my nose - since many of the features I used were pre-paid for and hence allowed me unlimited usage.

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So what's all this you say about me always being on the phone? Why don't you get that it's not the phone I'm addicted to - it's the PEOPLE on the other end. YES I want to know what my sister had for breakfast - I miss her, she's thousands of miles away. I AM interested in my school friend's weekend plans and NEWSFLASH - I actually DO care about my uncle's new haircut.


I'm happy that I'm part of their daily lives in spite of not being with them!


I'm happy that distance plays no part in how close you can be to people.


And most importantly, I'm happy to share my own life with all these people at the touch of a button.


So yes, I'm always on the phone. Because the people I love are at the other end of it. And YOU just better as hell learn to deal with it.


Regards,
Always On The Phone


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The Adventures of a 20-Something Year Old.

I hate adventure sports and rides at amusement parks and fast cars.


If the average friend, acquaintance, colleague or distant cousin were to describe me, they would say I was safe. Not a risk-taker. Not adventurous at all.

But what is adventure really? What are risks? And aren't the emotional risks you take far more dangerous than the physical ones?

For one, the emotional risks are NOT temporary. 5 minutes on a Banana Boat come and go and before you know it, it's all over. The jerks, the pace, the splash of the waves as they hit you, the way your heart surges when the tube topples, and WHAM - you're done. You're back on the beach, laughing.


But when you decide to throw away a 6-year relationship with a perfectly decent man, who you instinctively know is the one person on the planet who will adore you for the rest of your life, no.matter.what. - just because you want someone more exciting. Someone you feel more attracted to. Someone you're passionate about - even though you KNOW that one day all that is going to fade away. That's risky.

When you're ready to give up stability for 'butterflies'. When you're ready to barter the known and safe for the unknown and potentially dangerous. When you're ready to take the biggest risk of all - that of being alone. Now that's a roller-coaster. Not meant for the faint-hearted.

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One's career is also similar. When you think what you're doing is what you want to do. When it suddenly strikes you that maybe it's not. When you're ready to trade your job for your peace of mind. When you prepare yourself mentally to cut back in every way - because you're taking a break, you're taking a sebbatical, you're tearing yourself away from an environment as dependent on you as the earth is on the sun.

When you're giving up the tried and tested for a black hole of uncertainty. It's like bungee jumping. 99% you'll live to tell the tale. But there's always that 1% where it'll be YOUR rope that snaps.

And it seems like a restless spirit, always in search of more, turns life into one big risk, with sharp turns, corners, slopes, turnabouts, upside downs and jumps - where your heart is always in your mouth and your head is always spinning and you're simply wondering which risk you're willing to take next.

But I hate adventure sports...and rides at amusement parks...and fast cars.

Mind Block Shift

If you’re reading this blog entry, you’re obviously aware of how the world has gone digital and all that. You also might be aware of the constant over-analyzing done in terms of how the virtual world harms your actual one. Analysis that has the most secure and content people doubting the depth of their lives.

“If you have so many friends on Facebook that means you hardly speak to any of them.” “You’re a compulsive friend-collector, without having any meaningful relationship with that friend…” “How is it possible for you to keep in touch with so many people? "How can this be fulfilling? Get out of this virtual world…”

Is it possible for all these over-analyzers to fathom the fact that one can have a very, very full life online AS WELL AS offline – and one’s life offline is often the reason one’s life seems socially fulfilling online? Everyone doesn’t have to be a lonely depressed person – bordering on psychoses, just because they enjoy online social networking. Everyone does not have to be a loser pretending to be a girl on chat just for a lark. There are enough people on this planet who have managed to win hearts both in the flesh and through a computer screen.

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Now while I’m all for going out and meeting people, developing one-to-one relationships and chatting for hours on the phone – I also don’t see the harm in keeping in touch with this world through the internet. What might be too trivial to make a call for or type an SMS about is easy to share on a chat window or an email. Distance doesn’t separate me from my cousins’ inner-most feelings. My school pals can drop a note anytime – and I’ll know what’s happening with them even though we haven’t met in 10 years. My friends can now read my thoughts through my blog – hell, I don’t have to call and update 63 people when something good happens in my life!

In fact, this way I feel closer to my world – sharing stuff I could have never shared before – learning more about them than I ever knew.

That’s not to say one shouldn’t be exclusive. If you choose your friend lists carefully and share sensibly, these social networking sites often come out with more positives than negatives.

So instead of writing articles about how technology is isolating the world, instead of giving discourses in offices about how ‘in those days, we relied on physical presence to make a mark etc’, embrace your present – go out, make those friends, get to know them. Then use these websites for what they’re meant. To keep in touch and connect better with your world – keeping it fuller every day.

You v/s You

Contradictions.

Isn't your day full of them?

Take my average day for instance.

I love my city but absolutely HATE commuting in it.
I love that summer evenings are longer. I hate the fact that it's summer.
I love partying and meeting my friends. I hate moving from my room, the AC, the TV and my books.
I hate my taste in men. But I still think that somewhere I'm being true to myself when I realise why I like them.

I am a very chilled, easy-going person. I can also be uptight and very rigid about certain things.
I consider myself one of the most open-minded people I know, welcoming change with open arms. Yet I find myself falling prey to stereotypical thinking and judgments - sometimes unknowingly...

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I'm very practical. But I'm a creative person.
I believe in logic but I live by instinct.
I think I should only mingle with a certain kind of people - people who live my kind of life, think my kind of thoughts and are on the same wavelength. Yet I find myself drawn to my opposites and feel more comfortable with them than I do with 'my kind of people' sometimes.

So which me is the real me? Which me am I more true to? Do I have double standards? Do I want to have my cake and eat it too? Or is this just who I am? Who many of us are...filled with contradictions that blow the leaves of our lives either this way or that.

After all, what's life without a little breeze?

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

How did you picture yourself 10 years ago? On a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies...?

No, seriously...what did you think you would be right now? Or rather at what stage of life did you think you would be at? Because when I think of what I was 'supposed' to be at this stage, I wince, shudder and promptly go on to block the thought. Repress it. I'm in denial! To some extent, we all are.

How many of us thought that by now we'd be married?
How many of us thought that we'd have become famous, written our books, made our first films and first crore?
How many of us thought we'd have our own houses? Go on expensive holidays? Be fit and fabulous and the envy of everybody? Our phones should have been ringing off the hook by now, our school-mates should have been spotting us in newspapers regularly...we should be cruising down a highway, listening to our favourite music - while the world around us swirls in perfect, happy rainbow colours....

Right?

Then how come most of us are still not married - and relieved to be so.
How come we're all still struggling to 'make it'. To dammit write that damned book once and for all...get that script done with...hell get that promotion already!
Why do we still feel embarassed to meet our school-mates, feeling like we'll be judged? Why don't some of us even have a car to cruise with yet? And goddamit I'm waiting for my swirly rainbow colours!!!

What is this deadline we're all up against? Why do we have to still live our lives by some sort of calendar...an hourglass...? "Time is running out..." What time? Why can't we all just chill? What is this crappy rat race that affects all our lives - like it or not. Why can't our lives be measured by the quality of our thoughts and relationships rather than our bank accounts and waistlines? What is 'time' really?

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And what is WITH this damned 'biological clock'??? if I hear the words 'biological clock' once again from anyone, I'm going to SCREAM!

So yes, we may not be at the ideal place we thought we should have been at. But when I see some of those who are living their 'dream' - a.k.a false, unhappy lives and then I look at what I've built in the last 10 years, the relationships, memories, thoughts and ideals, I suddenly forget the dreams I once had and my world turns swirly again - colourful, rainbow-like. Perfect.

The mind of a 20 something-year-old

26.

Quarter life crisis. Over the hill. 4 years from 30. 14 years from 40.
Finally we've reached a point where we think we've grown up. Into the people we always wanted to be. Or have we? Isn't there room to grow...till you're 86 at least? Ah thank god, that's a good 60 years away.

Why do I feel like we've reached this point in time, where we're all frozen. Frozen in space and time. Looking at our lives from the outside. Seeing the clock ticking, people changing, parents getting older, full grown adults getting younger and 17 year olds with a world-weary look in their eyes.

Teenagers seem more and more opinionated and pig-headed. Adults seem more and more outdated.
You can't believe your mother doesn't know how to use a laptop mouse.
You also can't believe that your 10 year old niece doesn't know how to use her imagination.
Suddenly when somebody leaves the bathroom messy it becomes an 'issue'.
Suddenly you become particular about people touching your face.
Suddenly the way people chew grates on your nerves even more than exam papers did.
Sometimes, when you're partying, and NOT blind drunk you're looking at your watch more than you ever did.
Sometimes, when you're partying and you ARE blind drunk, you swear and swear and swear again that you will NEVER drink again. EVER.
Suddenly dinners, lunches, coffees, picnics, concerts, matches, treasure hunts, treks, board game nights and movies seem like a lot more fun than a night club is. While curling up in bed with a good book or watching a few episodes of your favourite sitcom are the MOST appealing. Why? What's happened? 18 till I die right? Then how come I'm avoiding making a party plan on a 'week night'! Since when am I a 'morning person'???

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When you see teenage boys and girls leaving all their self-respect behind the camera and reveling in being abused, tortured, objectified, laughed at and humiliated, all for some extra pocket money to party and buy some branded clothes, you feel shocked and start spouting 'aunty' dialogues to the tune of "Haww what are they showing these days? They are asking boys to rate how hot a girl is in front of her and asking them whether they will choose love or cash!? What has this world come to!!!"

What has this world come to? You're spouting aunty dialogues? You're saying things you used to scoff at 10 years ago. Yes. This day has come! Like it or not! You're leaving behind - albeit slowly - all the hedonism of the last 10 years...you're slowly morphing into a 'grown up'. You're slowly starting to value outings, people, relationships, friends, family.

You're slowly preparing for the next 10 years of your life - hedonistic in a different way maybe. Only time will tell.

Is this what it feels like to be 26?

I guess so.